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COLLABORATIVE PROBLEM SOLVING® (CPS)**

Offered online via Skype, or in person at my Toronto location

Traditionally, society has believed that kids who exhibit difficult behaviors are doing so deliberately.  CPS takes a different view, which is that challenged kids lack the skill, not the will, to behave well.

In other words, just as kids may lack skills in reading or math, they can also lack specific types of thinking skills.  The goal of CPS is to strengthen these skills so that they are able to resolve problems through collaboration instead of confrontation.

• Language and communication

• Attention and working memory

• Emotion and self-regulation

• Cognitive flexibility

• Social cognition

Suppose your young daughter refuses to wear the outfit that you've chosen for her.  Instead, she wants to wear her Halloween princess costume.  This happens frequently, and her tantrums disrupt the family's morning routine.  As a result, she and her siblings are frequently late for school.

Until now, she hasn't explained why this costume is so important to her, and her parents haven't asked.  Instead, her parents have dealt with this conflict in various ineffective ways.  Some days they shout at her and she eventually complies.  Other days they offer rewards or punishments -- promising a new toy or taking away a favorite toy.  And some days, her parents just don't have the stomach for yet another fight, so they give in but put extra clothing in her backpack in case she later changes her mind.  Everyone is stressed out, and the whole family dreads this daily drama.

How could the situation be improved?  A CPS approach would be first to empathize with the child, and to gain a better understanding of the child's perspective.  This step immediately begins to lower the temperature in the room because the child can see that she's getting a fair hearing.  The parents would then share their concerns with the child in a non-judgmental way.  Next the parents & child would jointly brainstorm potential solutions before finally selecting one or more strategies to try first.

Eventually, the daughter explains that her friends are all wearing sweaters with a picture of fairy princesses.  She doesn't have such a sweater.  This Halloween costume is the nearest thing she's got, so she's trying to fit in with her friends as best she can.  The parents could then explain that others will find it strange that she's wearing her Halloween costume, and that it's not appropriate for the weather.  They could then brainstorm ideas, and might ultimately agree to go shopping the following weekend for a princess sweater or other cool clothing. Meanwhile, she has enhanced her ability to advocate for herself and has advanced her language and communication skills.

This sounds pretty straightforward, but it can be tricky and requires practice.  Depending on my clients' preference, I help in one or more ways:

• Discussing specific situations with the parents and child together

• Working with the parents to get them comfortable with using this approach

• Feedback and follow-up sessions to see how things are going

Certainly.  The US National Institutes of Health has made available several relevant scientific papers.  One discusses the effectiveness of CPS in multiple settings.  In fact, CPS has been tested in situations ranging from a hospital psychiatric unit to a parenting group.